Divorce already feels heavy. When your spouse says, “I’ll never agree,” it can feel like you are trapped in the marriage forever. Many people stay stuck for years because they believe their partner can block a divorce just by refusing to sign.

In most cases, that is not how the law works.

This guide explains, in plain language, do both parties have to agree to a divorce, what happens if one spouse refuses, and what steps you can take. It focuses on general rules in the United States, where laws are set by each state. Because of that, details in your area may be different.

This article is general information, not legal advice. It should help you understand the big picture so you can ask better questions and feel less alone. Even if your spouse does not want the divorce, you usually still have options.

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Do Both Parties Have to Agree to a Divorce in the U.S.?

Short answer, in most U.S. states, no, both parties do not have to agree for a divorce to go through.

In many states, one spouse can start and finish a divorce even if the other spouse refuses to take part. You file your paperwork with the court, give your spouse proper legal notice, and follow the steps your state requires. If your spouse still will not join in, the court can usually still grant the divorce.

State laws are different, but the trend for years has been clear. Courts do not want to force people to stay married when one person says the marriage is over. That is why most states use some form of “no-fault” divorce.

You may still need your spouse’s signature on some forms if you both agree on everything. That is called an uncontested divorce. If your spouse will not sign, the case often turns into a contested or default divorce instead. The process changes, but your basic right to seek a divorce usually does not disappear.

The key idea is this: your spouse can make the process longer and more stressful, but in most places they cannot lock you into the marriage forever.

No-fault divorce: what it means and why it matters

No-fault divorce means you do not have to prove your spouse did something wrong. You do not have to show cheating, abuse, or desertion. You can say the marriage is broken and cannot be fixed, and that is enough in most states.

Common phrases you might see on court forms include:

• “Irreconcilable differences”
• “Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage”
• “Incompatibility”

Think of no-fault divorce like this. The law accepts that sometimes people grow apart or cannot solve deep conflicts. Instead of forcing you to air every painful detail in court, the law lets you say, “This relationship is not working anymore, and it will not get better.”

Because of no-fault rules, a spouse usually cannot stop a divorce by arguing, “I did nothing wrong,” or “I still want to stay married.” The court focuses more on the fact that at least one person says the marriage is over.

When a spouse will not sign or respond to divorce papers

Many people worry, “What if my spouse just refuses to sign anything?” In many states, that does not end the case.

If you have your spouse properly served with divorce papers, then wait the amount of time required by your state, but they never respond, your case may move into what is called a “default” divorce. In simple terms, default means the other side stayed silent, so the judge can decide without their input.

In a default case, the judge will still look at your requests about property, support, and parenting. The judge might not give you everything you ask for, but your spouse’s refusal to participate usually does not block the divorce.

What your spouse’s silence can change is the outcome. If they are not there to tell their side, the court relies more on what you file. That is one reason it helps to be honest, clear, and organized in your paperwork.

What Happens if One Spouse Does Not Agree to the Divorce?

When one spouse fights the divorce or key parts of it, you have what is known as a contested divorce. The word “contested” simply means there is disagreement.

In a contested case, you still move through the court process, step by step. The court will not say, “Your spouse disagrees, so you must stay married.” Instead, the court sets deadlines, hearings, and sometimes a trial, so a judge can make decisions.

Usually, the process looks something like this:

1. One spouse files for divorce and serves the other with the papers.
2. The other spouse files a response, often disagreeing with some or all of the requests.
3. Both sides share information, such as income, property, and debts.
4. There may be temporary orders about money or parenting while the case is open.
5. The spouses try to reach an agreement, sometimes with mediation or settlement talks.
6. If they cannot agree, the judge holds a hearing or trial and then issues final orders.

Disagreement about money, property, or children can make a case slower and more expensive. The important point is that it changes the path, not your basic ability to divorce.

Uncontested vs. contested divorce: how agreement changes the process

It helps to know the difference between uncontested and contested divorce, because people use these words a lot.

• Uncontested divorce: Both spouses agree on all major issues and sign the required forms. This is often faster, cheaper, and less stressful.
• Contested divorce: The spouses do not agree on one or more issues, such as property, alimony, or custody. The court has to step in and decide.

Here is a simple comparison:

Type of divorce	What it means	Time and cost
Uncontested	Full agreement, signed settlement	Usually shorter and less expensive
Contested	Disagreement on at least one key issue	Usually longer and more expensive

Many people hear “contested” and think, “My spouse can contest the divorce and stop it.” In most states, contesting means they fight over the terms, not the divorce itself. You may still reach the finish line, but with more steps along the way.

Key issues couples argue about during divorce

Most fights in divorce are not about whether the divorce should happen. They are about what life looks like after the divorce.

Common problem areas include:

• Property and debt: Who keeps the house, car, furniture, or business, and who pays which loans or credit cards.
• Alimony (spousal support): Whether one spouse will pay money to help support the other, and if so, how much and for how long.
• Child custody: Who makes major decisions for the children, such as school and medical care.
• Parenting time: Where the children live and how much time they spend with each parent.
• Child support: How much each parent pays to cover the children’s basic needs.

When spouses cannot agree on these topics, a judge has the power to decide for them. It may not feel fair to give control to a stranger in a black robe, but that is how the legal system settles disputes.

How a judge can finalize a divorce even with disagreement

Judges do not decide cases at random. They must follow state law and look at the facts in front of them, such as incomes, length of the marriage, and the children’s needs.

In many divorce cases, the court will:

• Ask or order the parties to try mediation or settlement talks.
• Review written evidence about income, property, and parenting.
• Hear sworn testimony from each spouse and sometimes other witnesses.
• Apply state rules about property division, support, and child custody.

After that, the judge issues a written order. This order ends the marriage and sets the rules for money and parenting going forward. Both people must follow it, even if one never wanted the divorce.

The judge’s job is to decide what is fair under state law and, when children are involved, what is best for the child. The judge is not there to keep people married when one of them clearly wants out.

Common Situations When Both Parties Do Not Agree to a Divorce

Real life is messy. Here are some common situations and how the law usually handles them.

When a spouse refuses to sign the divorce papers

Some spouses think, “If I do not sign, the divorce cannot happen.” In many states, that belief is wrong.

If your spouse refuses to sign documents needed for an uncontested divorce, your case may simply change into a contested or default case. You can ask the court to move forward based on proof that your spouse was served with the papers.

Options can include:

• Asking the court for a default if your spouse never files a response.
• Requesting hearings so a judge can make decisions without your spouse’s agreement.
• Filing extra documents to show the court you followed service rules.

The exact steps and timelines depend on your state’s rules. That is why checking local law or talking to a family law attorney in your area is so important.

When a spouse cannot be found or will not accept service

Sometimes a spouse moves away, changes numbers, or hides to avoid being served with divorce papers. Other times, they slam the door on the process server or keep dodging calls.

Courts know this happens. Many states have backup methods to give legal notice when standard service does not work. Some of these include:

• Service by publication: Posting notice in a newspaper or other approved place.
• Alternate service: Mailing papers, serving a relative, or using other methods the court allows.

You usually have to show the judge that you made honest efforts to find your spouse. If the judge is satisfied, they may approve one of these other methods. That way, a missing or hiding spouse cannot block a divorce forever.

Religious or moral objections: can they stop a legal divorce?

Divorce often clashes with deep beliefs. A spouse might say, “My faith does not allow divorce, so I will never agree.” Their personal beliefs matter, but civil courts handle legal marriages, not religious rules.

In most U.S. states, a person’s religious or moral objections do not give them a veto over a legal divorce. The court can grant the divorce even if one or both spouses feel it is wrong in their faith tradition.

Some people choose to seek both:

• A civil divorce from the court, and
• A religious annulment or divorce from their faith leader.

Those are two different systems. Your faith community can set its own rules, but it does not control what the civil court can do.

Steps to Take If Your Spouse Will Not Agree to Divorce

If your spouse refuses to agree, you still have choices. The focus now is on safety, support, and planning.

Protect yourself first, especially in unsafe situations

If your spouse is controlling, violent, or threatening, your safety comes before any paperwork.

Consider:

• Talking with a trusted friend or family member about what is happening.
• Reaching out to a local domestic violence hotline or shelter for a safety plan.
• Asking a lawyer or advocate about restraining orders or protective orders.

Protective orders can sometimes connect with the divorce process. For example, a court can make temporary orders about the home, children, or support. You do not have to face abuse or threats alone. There are people and groups that focus on safety every day.

Talk to a family law attorney or legal aid in your state

Because divorce laws are different from state to state, local advice matters. An attorney who works on family law in your area can tell you:

• What grounds for divorce exist in your state.
• How long you have to wait for a default.
• What your judge expects in contested cases.

Many family law attorneys offer low-cost or free first meetings. Legal aid groups and court self-help centers may help with forms if you qualify. Online articles are helpful for background, but they cannot replace advice from someone who knows your full story and your local rules.

Prepare your paperwork and be ready for a longer process

When your spouse does not agree, the process may take longer and cost more. You can reduce stress by preparing early.

Helpful steps include:

• Gathering financial records, such as bank statements, tax returns, and pay stubs.
• Making a list of property and debts in both names and in each person’s name.
• Thinking about a parenting plan that fits your children’s needs if you have kids.

Try to keep a folder or binder with all court papers, notes, and deadlines. Staying organized and calm will not solve every problem, but it gives you more control over your side of the process. You cannot control your spouse’s choices, but you can control how ready you are.

Conclusion

Most people who ask, “Do both parties have to agree to a divorce?” are really asking, “Am I stuck if my spouse says no?” In most U.S. states, the answer is no. One spouse can move forward, and the court can grant a divorce even when the other spouse will not sign or keeps fighting.

Agreement does matter, though. In an uncontested case, where you both agree on money, property, and parenting, the process is usually faster and less expensive. In a contested or default case, the court may need more time and information before making final decisions.

You do not have to figure this out alone. Learn your own state’s rules, reach out to a family law attorney or legal aid group, and take things one step at a time. With good information and the right support, you can move closer to a safer and more settled future, even if your spouse refuses to come along.